I could sense she was taking the conversation to a dark place. I nodded and took another gulp of my drink. "I bet you've told Ross!"The girl just couldn't help herself as she cast her bait."Told Ross what?" Hook line and sinker.My wife continued to reel Ross in. "Yeah, right. You men just can't resist bragging about your..." there was a gap as Sam thought of the words. "Sexual prowess."I gave my wife an exasperated look across the table, which she ignored completely."No, I haven't said a word." Paul appeared as mystified as me."Oh right! Well, that's OK then." Sam backed down, but I knew she was only releasing the line a bit."Well, you can't just leave it at that! Told me what?" Ross wasn't for letting it go and was being reeled in again."You tell him." Paul handed the landing net to Sam."Will I tell him?" She was now looking at me.I wanted to scream out, "Don't you dare!" but instead I shrugged my shoulders, like I couldn't give a shit."Tell me what for fuck's sake?" Ross raised. I didn't intend to do it, but that's just whathappened. I'm very ashamed of doing that in there, but it seemed thatonce I got started, I couldn't stop! It felt so GOOD, and so different,and so GOOD...ohhh, I'm so confused!"I had finished up with the food by that time and as I turned off theburners on the stove, Eric reached out to me saying,"Hey. Hey. Don't be ashamed. Don't feel weird or anything about this.It's perfectly natural for you to explore your new body like that! I'msurprised you didn't do this in the first day you became Holly. It'sokay, Holly. Everyone does it. It's just that nobody talks about isall. C'mon, let's have breakfast and talk this through, okay?"He pulled me into a hug and I just stood there, ashamed, my face burning, the spatula long forgotten in my hand. After a few seconds, Ijust dropped the spatula and put my arms around him, hugging him back.I buried my face in his shirt and began to cry, softly. Eric madecomforting noises and tried to get me to stop,.
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